Eastside Maison

Barb Pexa | New Year 2022

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Find a Balance Even when we are trying to achieve one goal, finding balance is effec- tive because it's a combination of two dif- ferent behaviors. For example, if you want to be more assertive, we can have a com- bination of assertive and more straight-to- the-point behavior. From one side you don't want to argue with people all the time, but you don't want for people to walk all over you as well. Extreme forms of behavior are never a healthy option. Think about Buddha's Middle Way more than becoming a perfect person who never makes mistakes. Most personality characteristics can become maladaptive when pushed. Different Strokes for Different Folks We all need to move in different directions. There is no one perfect way that works for everyone. Someone who is highly self- critical needs to be gentle with themselves while people who are conceited need to be harder with themselves. Some people who are extremely rigid need to be more flex- ible while disorganized people need more structure. In these two examples, one ex- treme is not good behavior at all. Personal Growth as a Range Personal growth doesn't come in one form that fits everyone. There are a lot of different ways to func- tion successfully. Personal growth is not a point of functioning but a range. This means that adaptive functioning is not one be- havior only but it can be a range of behaviors. I Want to Be Someone Else If you want to be someone else, you are on the wrong track. That's not the most effec- tive approach and you will more likely fail than succeed in this endeavor. We need to find the balance between our behavior and desirable behavior (the other extreme). When you put things in perspective like this, personal growth is not as difficult as you might initially imagine. It's important to remember those good qualities when pushed to the extreme can become bad. Or sometimes our bad quali- ties are good, but they've been pushed to the extreme. Sometimes all we need is to tone it down, not remove them completely.

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